Domestic violence is the abuse of one partner within an intimate or family relationship.  It is the repeated, random and habitual use of intimidation to control a partner. Abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological, financial or sexual.  If you are forced to alter your behaviour because you are frightened of the reaction, then you are being abused.  When you are living with domestic abuse on a daily basis it can become familiar and part of your normal daily life and routine and is often ignored or dismissed for fear of discrimination, embarrassment and feelings of personal inadequacy.

 

The Freedom Programme was created by Pat Craven and it examines the roles, actions, attitudes, and beliefs of abusive men and the responses of the victims/survivors. It evolved from her work with perpetrators of domestic violence and it provides insightful information, not therapy.

 

It helps the victim/survivor to understand how abusers think, to recognise personality traits, the different methods

of psychological and coercive control and the impacts that these can have. When you are actually living in an abusive

relationship or household, it can become part of normal behaviour and routine and sometimes people aren’t even

aware that they are in one!

 

Domestic abuse is all about power and control.

 

There is no single factor for the cause of domestic abuse, anyone can be abused.  It is not limited to

social background, age, gender, religion, sexuality or ethnicity and it is unfair to say that abusers are typically men as abuse towards men is on the increase.  Although men can be abused too, according to SafeLives, statistics show that each year around 1.4 million women (8.5% of the population) and 700,000 men (4.5% of the population) suffer some form of abuse.

 

It takes much courage to walk away from an abusive relationship.  Without forgetting the depth of fear that has been entrenched in the psyche of a victim and the loss of self-worth and self-esteem, there are a myriad of dilemmas to take in to consideration.  I have no money, how will I manage to support myself and my children?  Will my children be taken away and put into care?  How will I manage?  Where will we live?  What if he finds me?  He said he would kill me if I leave?

 

In England and Wales – 7 women a month are killed by a current or ex-partner.

 

The mental and physical toll of being in an abusive relationship can have horrendous impact.

In one study, it was found that 64% of domestic abuse victims developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  Psychological consequences include; anxiety, depression, suicidal behaviour, inability to trust, flashbacks, sleep problems and emotional detachment.  Physical impacts include long term health issues such as: cardiovascular disease, fibromyalgia, chronic pain syndrome, asthma, bladder and kidney infections, migraines, gastro-intestinal disorders, central nervous system disorders, gynaecological disorders, sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy difficulties.

 

This is not including, nor forgetting the impact it has on the children.  According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, literature shows that children who have been exposed to domestic violence are more likely than their peers to experience a wide range of difficulties, which include Behavioural, Social and Emotional problems.  Children in families experiencing domestic violence are more likely than other children to exhibit aggressive and antisocial behaviour or be depressed and anxious. (Brown & Bzostek 2003).

 

My passion is being able to empower clients to recognize they have the resources within themselves to make positive changes in their lives, whether that be as a Facilitator for the Freedom Programme or through my wealth of psychotherapy skills which can help facilitate that shift from being where they are and where they would like to be.

 

For more information call

Jill on 01638 742167 / 07712 446264 or email: jill@evokeresilience.co.uk

 

“Freedom is realising you have a choice”

T.F. Hodge